Million Dollar Question: What is Your Intent?



Ok, so maybe no one will walk away with a million dollars in the end, but maybe we can make world peace a reality if we could figure this question out…

What constitutes as a man’s* inappropriate behavior in a relationship?


Sure, there are the obvious signs: blatant gawking of other women, lipstick stains/wafts of perfume, actually catching him in the act, etc., etc., etc., but what about the other not-so-obvious…”gray” signs?…

Is it inappropriate for a man in a relationship to have numerous female friends, of which some of whom he’s had past sexual relationships with?

Is it inappropriate for a man in a relationship to send sexually-charged messages through email, Facebook, Twitter and in the more recently-coined term, “sexting?”

Is it inappropriate for a man in a relationship to engage in phone sex with other women? (ok, maybe not so “gray.”)

Is it inappropriate for a man in a relationship, either married or engaged, to send nostalgic Facebook messages to past crushes or girlfriends?

Is it inappropriate for a man in a relationship, either married or engaged, to send Facebook messages and friend requests to women who are complete strangers, based on their picture alone?

Is it inappropriate for a man in relationship to meet other women for coffee or any sort of meal?

Is it inappropriate for a man in a relationship to give his number out to women?

Is it inappropriate for a man in a relationship to rekindle previously lost connections with women he’s had a sexual history with?

Is it inappropriate for a man in a relationship to have numerous female friends, even if he’s never had a sexual history with them.

Is it inappropriate for a man in a relationship to have a female confidant, other than his mate, whom he bares his soul and deepest and darkest secrets to?

Is it inappropriate for a man in a relationship to financially help his female friends in their time of need?

Is it inappropriate for a man in a relationship to post blogs, updates, photos, comments that are sexually suggestive?

Is it inappropriate for a man in a relationship to not disclose he’s in a relationship to his female friends?

Is it inappropriate for a man in a relationship, either married or engaged, to take interest in certain female bloggers versus other female bloggers?

Just a few questions I’ve been pondering lately.

For me, I think what draws the clear distinction between inappropriateness and appropriateness lies in one word: intent. Oh, and also, if the woman he’s in a relationship with, knows about the above-mentioned scenarios.

Determine a man’s intent, in any of the scenarios above, and it’ll be clear where he stands.

*Can be applied to women as well.


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~ by Maureen on April 16, 2009.

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